Bashing into walls & breaking them down
Breaking my own walls, reshaping my life as I move forward, & a key piece of wisdom from Mr. Jobs himself
Last night, I decided to completely rearrange my dorm room. I was convinced that I’d gotten too comfortable with the layout of my room, so I spent two hours pushing things to one side of the room, moving my bed to the opposite wall, making room for my desk by the window, etc.
I convinced myself that I would love the room once everything was moved, but I lost motivation halfway through because it wasn’t turning out quite how I envisioned and had to push myself to keep going.
By the end of this momentous room-rearranging adventure, I was extremely unsettled by the result. I felt like I was in a different room. Something in my mind told me that it was incorrect. My bed was on the wrong side, my desk was pushed over too far, and all my stuff was scattered around the room along with my thoughts. I felt uncomfortable, like too much had changed at once.
Instantly I wanted to move everything back. Back to where my room was predictable and stable and the same. But I stopped myself for two reasons, because it was almost midnight and moving everything back would be too loud and take too long, and because I realized that it might be good for me to feel uncomfortable, at least for a little while.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m surfing, trying to ride the wave of change I see for myself. It’s not easy recognizing that I’m growing in more ways than one. A large part of me longs to learn everything I possibly can about everything. Just life itself intrigues me and I want to follow that interest to the ends of the earth.
But at college, I’ve come upon something I never expected: to be limited by what I can learn in classes.
For example, I’m studying electrical engineering, and I’m supposed to stick to that path. Sure, I can take general education (gen ed) classes, but I can’t really go deeper than that if I want to learn more about a topic outside of my major, and this barrier frustrates me and frightens me beyond belief.
It frustrates me because how can you limit a student’s learning?
Why can’t I take any class I want to take, as long as I’m on track in my field of study, or even more so, why can’t I adapt my major to fit my needs and interests to an extent? If the university so often emphasizes that “every student is different”, then it should make sense that we all have different needs and our major should be as flexible as we are.
And it frightens me because my learning is being limited.
Over winter break I thought about how I feel when I’m taking my classes. I want to be learning more and diving deeper into topics I don’t currently know much about, such as learning how to use certain design tools, learning how things are designed and made, etc.
I realized that my problem-solving abilities and love for design offer me the chance to think outside the box and “problem-solve” my course of study.
I wondered if I could create my own specialization within electrical engineering and combine two things I find intriguing: electronics and mechanical engineering, or better known as mechatronics.
I’m currently in the process of trying to get this specialization approved and finally be able to get credit towards my degree while taking electrical engineering classes and mechanical engineering classes at the same time.
If you ask me, there’s not enough flexibility within engineering. Students outside of engineering might have a major, and one to two minors that are completely unrelated to what they’re learning, but they’re studying those things because they’re passionate about more than one thing, and guess what? I think that’s truly beautiful.
I’ve visited with engineering advisors and they don’t seem to understand why I would want to learn something outside of my major and seem to equate that with me not being serious about my learning.
Recruiters at career fairs seem to be of the same opinion in the fact that if you speak with them and talk about being interested in a topic outside of your major, or talk about how you want to explore multiple fields, they automatically lose interest in you as a candidate because you must be unfocused or unknowledgeable about the position you’re looking to be hired for.
For example, I spoke with a recruiter from a well-known and relevant tech company who had given a presentation about coming from humble beginnings and following his passion in electronics to “make it” in his career. I personally connected with his presentation, and rushed to speak with him afterward. I spoke about how I was learning electrical engineering, but also wanted to learn product design so that I could become proficient in both and understand both the outer and inner workings of a product.
He laughed and looked at me like I was crazy. He asked me to re-explain what I said, because he wasn’t understanding. So I repeated what I had said once again, and he just shook his head and said what I was saying didn’t make sense. He brushed me off, and said to “send him my resume” and he’d “see what he could do”.
I didn’t send him my resume, because it was obvious to me that he didn’t understand my vision, and was actually quite ignorant.
It’s possible to be passionate and excel at multiple things, and also to focus on learning one thing at a time. Unfortunately, this is exactly why I have to market myself as one thing or another when I’m applying to jobs, but I digress.
I can envision the person I’m growing into to an extent. I’m in arms-reach of that person, of that future, but its as if there’s an opaque membrane between us that I need to break through in order to get to the other side.
I’m on a campus where I can explore dozens of topics and hundreds of classes, and I need the freedom to explore these topics to grow.
When I follow my intuition and execute the actions it tells me to take, the person I am and the person I am becoming will become one and the same.
The world and system we live in isn’t questioned often enough. Steve Jobs said it best:
“When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is, and your life is to just live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life. Have fun, save a little money.
That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is everything around that you call life was made up by people who were no smarter than you. And you can change it.
You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
Watch this video if you want to hear these words from Mr. Jobs himself.
Every time I hear this quote I get emotional, because I so badly want to change this world, and to shape it into something better and to help people, because I know within my heart that it can be so much better.
And it’s because of this quote that I will never stop bashing into the walls and paving my own path and trying to change this world.
We all have a secret super power, and it’s the power of change. Whether or not you want to use it, and what extent you want to use it to, that’s up to you.
For me, I’m starting small, and changing and redirecting my own life while also potentially inflicting change externally, through the actions I take every day. Right now, that change is trying to specialize in mechatronics, but it’s also so many other things.
I’m out of my mind, and thank god I am. By questioning the life I live, I’m pushing the wheel of change forward and not remaining stagnant, and becoming a force to be reckoned with.
Yesterday I questioned my reality and intuitively felt the need for change, and executed that change by rearranging my dorm room. And now I recognize the need for change in my learning path, and I’m executing that change.
I’m breaking down my walls and building something new. And sometimes these walls may be fences I have to jump over, or walls I have to climb to reach the other side, but regardless, I’ll get to where I need to be to create the future I want to create.
By combining two somewhat unrelated fields, maybe I’ll be able to find that key connection and build something truly greater than the sum of its parts.
Questioning reality is the only way change is ever made, whether it be in one person’s lives or millions.
Until next time,
Savannah